The inner critic.

The voice in the room

Almost everyone arrives with a running commentary. It compares you with the dancer across the room. It plans the next move before the current one has finished. It apologises when you step on a foot. Martin Keogh made a short video called The Train of Self-Doubt, a fair name for how one worry pulls the next one behind it.

You will not switch the voice off, and you do not need to. The aim is to stop giving it your weight.

Un-weighting

Un-weighting is a skiing term. A skier unweights by easing pressure off the skis for an instant so they can turn. Keogh used it as the theme of one of his Boston focus jams and posted the notes, where he extends the word from limbs to the weight of the day and of the self-critic. We find the same idea useful in a plain form. Easing off effort lowers the stakes, and a dance with lower stakes allows odd, personal choices.

Try this: set the voice down

1. Lie on your back. Notice where your limbs press into the floor. Lift an arm a centimetre off the floor and hold it there, lighter, then lower it.
2. Do the same with a leg, then with your ribs. The trunk is harder to lighten than a limb, so take your time with it.
3. Name the voice with one word, such as Comparing, Planning or Apologising. Imagine setting it on the floor beside you, the way you would set down a bag.
4. Stand up and take one small walk without picking it up again.

Simplicity

Keogh also ran a focus jam on simplicity, and his notes suggest it suits newcomers well. The reason is practical. A simple task leaves less room for the critic to talk. If you only have to do one thing, there is little left to judge, and a plan for the whole dance has no place to live.

Try this: one simple thing

In your next solo practice or warm-up, choose one thing and repeat it. It could be a slow roll, a lean, or eye contact at the start of a dance. Repeat it ten times. The tenth version is never the same as the first, and the changes are your material. When a thought starts planning the next move, say "planning" under your breath and go back to the repetition.

Staying inside your limits

A more energetic partner can pull you past what feels right. Staying true to yourself inside a duet is a skill in its own right. Keogh's focus jam notes on staying true are about honouring your own feelings and limits while you dance with someone. In practice you can say "slower", "less weight" or "I'm going to sit this one out". Chapter 5 gives you the words, and this chapter gives you the permission.

The critic and the limit are different voices. The critic says you are not good enough. The limit says you have had enough for now. Learn to tell them apart, set the first down and obey the second.